Give to the "homeless" - or they'll poop on your food

Suspect arrested for contaminating Safeway produce with feces

BELLEVUE -- A 23-year-old homeless man from Seattle was arrested Sunday on suspicion of contaminating a Safeway produce rack with human fecal matter.

That's why my wife doesn't like to shop in that particular Safeway...

And where did they find this poor, down-on-his-luck gentleman?

The suspect was traced to a location across the street where police arrested him. (emphasis mine)

Lovely. Buttmunch shits on the food that hundreds of people buy, ruins $35,000 of it, and just walks across the street and waits to get arrested.

On a minor tangental note, I don't give money to "homeless" people - otherwise known as beggars. This seems as good a time as any to elaborate my two reasons.

First, I don't like getting spit on (yes, Virginia, they do spit in a liberal town like the People's Democractic Republic of Seattle).

Second reason: panhandlers, beggars, transients, people who stand out on the sidewalk with any manner of stupid signs designed to tug at your heartstrings or just plain engage your guilt reflex, make a lot of money. I once took the long bus route home from downtown Seattle to my suburban apartment, and listened to the conversation one panhandler had with the driver. The panhandler talked about pulling down $100 to $200 dollars per day. More than the bus driver, more than me at the time - and oh, it was tax-free, too (and not in the "tax-deductible donation" sense, either).

New idea for a sign the Interstate exit beggars can hold up.

I'm homeless - pay up, or I'll poop on your produce.

Written by Andrew Ittner in misc on Tue 21 September 2004. Tags: commentary, news